In the past year, I have spent a lot of time sorting through old photographs.

First, my mother passed away in June of 2021. Along with my sister, husband, and two of my children we sorted through boxes of old photos searching for our favorites to create a tribute to our mother/grandmother. 

Then, after finishing the mammoth task of writing a book with my husband, I decided to begin tackling a project I have been procrastinating for years (if not decades) - scrapbooking all the loose photos from the pre-digital camera days. This includes all of the photos I inherited from my mother. As part of this process, I have also been removing photos from old magnetic albums and putting them in scrapbooks.

Most recently, my stepfather passed away. Once again, my sister and I pulled out the big box of photos and started searching for our favorites of Dad. Throughout this ongoing process of photo sorting, I have been getting rid of pictures, but it wasn't until my sister and I were working on the big box that a sort of methodology formed in my brain.

​It quickly became apparent that some of the photos were not worth keeping, and I realized that we needed to agree on the criteria we would use for determining which photos to keep and which ones to toss out. Otherwise, we would constantly be asking one another "What about this one?" 

Fortunately, we had no trouble agreeing on the types of photos we were comfortable throwing away. Our categories were as follows: 

Poor Quality Images:
The quality of a photograph can be affected by a number of factors to include lighting, focus, exposure, background/surroundings, and more. There is no reason to hold onto poor quality images. This is especially true in today's world when it's easy to delete a bad photo or retake an image, but even older photos are of no value if you cannot see the subject clearly. 

Unrecognizable Images: 
Images can be unrecognizable for a number of reasons. For one thing, poor quality images can render their subjects unrecognizable. In this case, however, I am mostly referring to subjects that you do not recognize. These could be people, animals, or places. 

My mom was an animal lover. She took almost as many photos of her various pets over the years as she did her children and grandchildren. In some cases, neither my sister nor I recognized a particular animal; thus, we felt no remorse in getting rid of its photos. 

With regard to people, we decided we didn't care to keep photos of friends of our parents from the 1960's whom we did not recognize or know. We did, however, hang onto old family photos (even if we couldn't identify all of the individuals in the picture) in the hopes that someone else in the extended family might be able to identify the unknown person or persons. 

Multiple Images:
One thing I have discovered as I have started scrapbooking is that I often have more photos of an event than I really want or need. Often there are several that are extremely close in terms of subject matter and detail, having been taken a few seconds apart. While this is sometimes desirable for documenting the progression of an event, it is often just redundant. In our case, we opted to choose our favorite images and get rid of the ones we didn't like as well. 

It's also true that back in the days of printing photos from negatives, people often chose to print duplicates with the intent of sharing. In some cases, we each opted to keep a copy of an image, but for the most part, one copy was enough. 

I mentioned that my mother loved photographing her animals. The result was an inordinate number of images of the same cat. It would seem that Scrappy the Calico was a particular favorite of Mom's as we have at least 50 photos of her lazing about when three to five especially cute images are more than enough to create a scrapbook page to remember her by. 

Other People's Images:
My mother was a high school secretary for 23 years. Later, she worked in an elementary school cafeteria during her semi-retirement. As such, she had hordes of photos of other people's children - kids she worked with at the high school who gave her a wallet sized copy of their annual school photo or senior picture. These were nice for my mom when she was working, but had little, if any, meaning for my sister and I, so we got rid of most of them. The exceptions were extended family members and close friends of the family. 

While we all love getting pictures of our friends' family at Christmas time or other times of celebration, how much do we actually love going back and looking at those photos of our college roommate's kids twenty years later? In our case, the answer was not much, so we tossed a lot of photos of other people's families during our sorting process. 

My mother seems to have been of the mindset "If you take a photo, you must keep the photo." I confess that even I have been guilty of this misconception, at least I was in high school. Thankfully, I am over it. Looking back, I have no trouble getting rid of images that no longer have any meaning. Indeed, some were not good images to begin with (for reasons identified above). 

Having eliminated the excess photos from my mother's (and my own) photo collection, I know that looking through them in the future will be more enjoyable because all that remains are images that have meaning and are easy to interpret. No more asking "What's that?" or "Who's that?" or "Why do we have so many pictures of that cat?"

As an organizer, I'm a proponent of getting rid of stuff that no longer serves a meaningful purpose in your life. As someone who cares about the environment and believes firmly in the importance of recycling, I'm all about keeping recyclable and reusable items out of landfills. Thrift stores are a wonderful way of finding a new home for still useful stuff that you no longer love or need. 

Sometimes, however, in an effort to ease our consciences about getting rid of things, or simply out of convenience, we pass things on to thrift stores that they cannot use. Doing so increases their burden while decreasing their bottom line, or profit. Since most thrift stores are run by charities, that means less money is available to go toward the cause and more is being wasted on unnecessary expenses.

Perhaps the best advice anyone can offer with regard to donating used items is to be considerate. Think of those who will be receiving and ask yourself whether or not you would want whatever it is you are offering. Also keep in mind the following:

First and foremost, avoid donating trash. That may sound obvious, but it does happen, on a regular basis. If you think an item is too gross to keep, don't donate it. Throw it away. 

Consumables that have been used should be considered trash. What do I mean by consumables? Anything that is meant to be used up or used and thrown away. Food obviously falls into this category, but I think everyone knows the thrift store is not the place for donating food items. Other examples of consumables thrift stores don't want include:

• beauty products
• partially used coloring/activity/puzzle books or notebooks
• used sponges and other cleaning materials (mops, brooms, etc.)
• used pencils, crayons, colored pencils, and other art supplies - there are other, more appropriate places to donate these items. 

Many of us understandably feel a pang of guilt when we throw away "a perfectly good item." I'll be the first to suggest that the landfill is the last place that many of these items belong, but it is inconsiderate of fellow patrons and burdensome to charities to give things no one wants or has a use for. When choosing what to donate and what to throw away, ask yourself if you would want someone to give the item to you. 

Consider the following when contemplating a donation:

• Is this an appropriate item to pass on to others? Examples of inappropriate items include used undergarments and many other lingerie items, socks and certain personal sporting goods items such as mouth guards or jock straps/cups. 
• Is this item serviceable? Items that are broken or damaged, or otherwise in a state of disrepair are generally not donatable. While thrift stores recognize and support the trend of breathing new life into old styles of furniture through refurbishing, they are not in the business of cluttering their sales floors with defective furniture or equipment. 
• Is this item complete? If an item is missing parts or pieces that are essential to its function, it should not be donated. 
• Is this item hazardous? Paint, cleansers, automotive fluids, and other household chemicals should be taken to the hazardous waste dump site for disposal. Many types of electronics (televisions, cell phones, computers) are considered hazardous waste. The demand for these items at thrift stores is insignificant, so most either won't accept them or will only accept very specific items. Check with your local thrift store before attempting to donate such items. 
• Will the thrift store even take this item? There are certain items thrift stores won't take because of safety or storage issues. For example, because the safety standards for children's products like car seats and cribs are always changing, and because these items often have recalls, most thrift stores will not take them. The same may be true of medical equipment such as walkers. Other examples of items thrift stores probably won't take are mattresses (which can harbor bacteria and pests), large kitchen appliances, carpet remnants, pillows, stuffed toys, and weapons. 

I spoke to a worker at my local thrift store last year and was shocked to learn that here in my small town, they turn over about 10,000 items a week. That sounded astronomical to me, but I have since discovered with a little research that this is actually small potatoes for the thrift store industry. Many larger thrift stores deal with 3 to 5 times that volume in the same time frame. 

We all want to feel like the items we're getting rid of are going to a good home, and donating to a thrift store is a good way to offer useful things to people who want and need them. That said, we do the thrift stores, many of which are charities or function in support of a charity, a disservice when we stick them with items they can't use. What you do with the items you declutter is as important as the decluttering process, especially since it is the part of the process that affects others. Please be a thoughtful and intentional giver and make sure the items you are donating are supporting your thrift store's mission and not adding to their burden. 

Most people who know me know that I am a professional organizer. When they learn that I have also been writing a book, in company with my husband, on America's war in Afghanistan, I can see them wrestling with the disconnect this statement engenders. I confess that at times I have wrestled with this seeming disconnect myself. 

How did I become an author on such a topic? For starters, I am married to a military historian who has published eight books (not counting this one), all of which I have edited. In recent years, I have also assisted him in his research, and I was a contributor on his last two books. It has been an evolutionary process, to say the least, but I won't go into that now.  

Instead, I wish to capture some of the lessons I have learned about life and organization through the process of writing about war and chaos. Some of these lessons are specific to the topic of our book, while others are more general to the writing process. ​

My husband and I have very different methods of writing. I edit as I go, laboring over every sentence until I'm satisfied with it. I go back to the beginning repeatedly and reread the whole thing (or portions thereof) to see if I like the way it flows. As a result, my process is slow, but my product is pretty nearly complete by the time I get to the end.

In contrast, my husband's method might best be described as a sort of brain dump; he refers to the process as "vomiting on the page". He expels his ideas in a sort of stream of consciousness and then goes back later to "clean it up." He writes chapters at a much faster pace than I do, but they require more editing before they are publication ready. 

You might think that our two disparate approaches to writing would be incongruous, but the opposite has proven to be true. In fact, we seem to balance each other out, so much so that as I performed the final edit of our work, I found myself wondering repeatedly, "Did I write that, or did he?" This had to do, at least in part, with the fact that we edited each other's work. Thus, the final product was a true melding of our styles and voices. In part, however, it had to do with the unique contributions we both provided. Because he was much more comfortable with and knowledgeable about the topic, I could ask for his input when I was stuck, and his insights would get me on track and moving forward. On the other hand, because I felt the need to research things in depth, I was sometimes able to provide information that was new to him. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
When it comes to organizing and life, working with a partner can help you to achieve things you might struggle to complete on your own. A reliable, truthful, supportive friend can be a cheerleader, a source of emotional support, a pillar of strength, and a provider of wisdom. A buddy can help you to see your stuff, your space, and even your situation in new and meaningful ways. You can gain new insights about how to arrange things, how to part with things, and how best to proceed with whatever challenge you're facing. In addition, a partner can help you to stay on task. In the end, your final product will often be better than you imagined because of the encouragement and guidance of a trusted friend. 

Because my method of writing is laborious and methodical, I can sometimes get bogged down by the process. In my effort to produce the perfect paragraph, I can waste precious time and experience unnecessary stress. My husband, with his different approach to the process, helped me to see that my work didn't have to be perfect to be good. Knowing that we were going to go back over the product multiple times with more than one set of eyes meant that I could set things aside that I was struggling with and move on. Invariably, things that had stumped me earlier would come together with relative ease after a brief respite. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION: 
Sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing something because we know we won't be able to do it perfectly. On the flip side, we can sometimes get bogged down in a process of seeking perfection that actually prevents us from making progress. Few things in life are perfect (aside from newborn babies). Most of the time good is.... good enough. It's better to move forward and improve in small but meaningful ways than to become mentally, emotionally, and physically mired in misgivings and self-doubt. 

When we first started on our book, I often found myself wondering what on earth I was thinking when I agreed to take on the project. What did I know about Afghanistan or the war? While my husband assured me that I knew a whole lot more than the average person, I still wondered if it was enough. 

The more I read, and researched, and wrote, the more my confidence in the topic and myself as a researcher, interviewer, and writer grew. I began to trust that I could do what I had set out to do. I came to see that I am a person who can do hard things, and that hard things are really the best kinds of things to do because in doing them we become better versions of ourselves. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
If you are someone who feels overwhelmed by the organization process, you're not alone. It can be extremely challenging. Just wrapping your head around what needs to be done and knowing where to start is mind boggling for many. That said, it's the good kind of hard. Getting organized can change your life. It can make you a better version of yourself by improving the way you do things, how you look at the world, and how you interact with your environment. I truly believe that organization has the power to transform people's lives by reducing stress, increasing productivity, improving peace of mind and nurturing a sense of empowerment. If life is hard, one thing that can make it a little (or a lot) easier is getting organized. 

I admit that over the two plus years that we worked on the Afghanistan book my enthusiasm for the process and the product waxed and waned. At times I wanted to give up and walk away. My husband is a busy guy; he's almost always juggling multiple projects. There were times when I thought he would never have the time needed to help me get the book finished, and I didn't see how I could possibly do it alone. 

We figured it out. He made the time. We worked together and made it happen, and if I'm being honest, I have to admit that I am pretty proud of what we accomplished. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
Think of the word discouragement. The prefix 'dis' gives the root word the opposite meaning - so, for instance, trust becomes distrust, or not trusted. The suffix 'ment' comes from the Latin word mente which means mind or thought. So, discouragement is an absence of courage of thought. Synonyms for courage include determination, endurance, and fortitude. It's more than just bravery; it's sticking with things that are hard and seeing them through. 

As we've already established, getting organized can be difficult, challenging, and even overwhelming. It requires courage in the form of stick-to-itiveness, a willingness and conviction to persevere through the rough patches. Just as with our book, sticking with the organization process is well worth the effort, and you will feel wonderfully accomplished and proud when your goal is met.

In the beginning, every chapter was painstaking. I lacked confidence, and I didn't trust myself. As a result, I worried and worked extra hard to understand the subject matter until I could explain it in layman's terms.  In time, something inspiring occurred. The more I researched and interviewed and wrote, the more comfortable I became with my ability to do those things. My belief in myself improved. I became not only comfortable with, but proficient in my subject matter.  It got easier. 

It wasn't until I found myself easily conversing with my husband about the challenges associated with using B52's for close air support or quickly creating a call-out box on the difference between the Taliban and al-Qaeda without having to look it up that I realized I had grown into and embraced my new role. It was a good feeling. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
I have seen a similar transformation in some of my clients. At first the organization process is daunting, and they are trepidatious about undertaking it. The more they work at organizing, the more comfortable they become with it. With enough effort and consistency, some actually change the way they think and act such that they truly become organized people. The more you do a thing - anything, really - the easier it becomes. 

My confidence and comfort level took a turn in the right direction when I met a wonderful woman, an American soldier, who not only provided me with an interview that became the basis for one of our chapters, but also introduced me to two other women, both Afghans, who helped me understand Afghanistan and the war in new and eye-opening ways. All three of them continue to be a source of inspiration to me. They see needs, and they strive to fill them. They are making a real difference in the lives of people in truly desperate circumstances. Their stories gave meaning and purpose to my writing. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
Inspiration motivates and excites us to do and be better. It can come in many forms - a Pinterest image, a song, a blog post, a story, a person, etc. Look for ideas, resources, and people who make you want to improve and believe that you can. Anything that weighs you down or makes you feel inferior should be avoided. Look for the uplifting and let it embolden and excite you to do the things you've been afraid to do for one reason or another. 

Like so many aspects of life and areas of the economy, the publication industry has been impacted by COVID-19. Our publishers, at least, are way behind on their review process. As a result, our deadline got moved back. In some ways this was a bummer because we were both eager to get done with the book and move on to other things. In the end, though, having extra time proved to be a good thing. It allowed us to tell a more complete tale of the war and its impact. By the time we sent our manuscript off, the United States had withdrawn from Afghanistan, and we were able to capture that process and its impact in our book. Had we met our original deadline, that would not have been the case. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION: 
Life is full of challenges and setbacks. Often my organization clients are struggling to regain order in their lives after experiencing some sort of major life change or other challenging circumstance. Otherwise orderly people can become disorganized in the midst of life's chaos. Know that unexpected changes, no matter how unwelcome they may be, bring new opportunities in the wake of the trials. There is always something to be learned and gained from every experience. Often times of change are opportunities to rethink one's situation and make a fresh start. 

To say that the topic of the Afghanistan war was outside my comfort zone is an understatement, but it has become a topic that I am not only comfortable with but somewhat passionate about. We often talk about "thinking outside the box". My husband, who also teaches about the concepts of narrative and cross-cultural relations, promotes the idea of expanding one's box to include new ideas and ways of thinking about and doing things. Our book taught me that doing so is not as difficult as you might think. It requires effort, to be certain, but as noted already, it gets easier over time as you expand your mind and develop your skills. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
Often a lack of organization can be attributed to habits and behaviors. Changing our behaviors and developing new habits (or systems) can make a huge difference in the level of organization we enjoy, but it all begins with a willingness and desire to step outside our comfort zones and try a new way of thinking about and doing things. 

As Americans, we think of the Taliban and al-Qaeda as the 'bad guys', and we think of ourselves and our allies as the 'good guys'. The Taliban and al-Qaeda see things the other way around. They believe their cause is just. They see America and the West as decadent and depraved to the point that they have a duty to rid their world of our influence. 

Everyone thinks they are on the right side doing the right thing for the right reasons. I truly believe that there are very few people in this world intentionally pursuing evil for the sake of evil. People generally do what they do because they believe it's the right thing to do, and they want to be right. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZATION CONNECTION:
Living with other people, no matter how much we love them, is challenging. Often, those we love have a different approach (or lack thereof) to organization and clutter. Their clutter tolerance may be higher or lower than our own. Such circumstances can create tension and conflict within the home. Achieving compromise can be difficult, but it starts with recognizing that other people aren't doing what they do simply to rile and annoy us. They're doing what comes naturally to them. The first step to achieving consensus is learning to understand one another's perspective. 

In our research we looked at a ton of primary source documents. One thing that quickly became apparent was that every source has a bias. Everyone, be they politicians or reporters or military commanders or common, everyday people, is trying to tell their story, and every story is impacted by the perspective from which it is told. Most people, whether consciously or unconsciously, don't tell the whole story; they tell the story they want you to hear. Their intent may be entirely innocuous. Nevertheless, what they are really sharing is a message, and the story is the means of conveying that message. 

THE LIFE/ORGANIZAION CONNECTION:
We all have messes and fall short and make mistakes and struggle. No one's life is perfect. No one's kids are perfect. No one's house is perfectly organized - not even a professional organizer's home! When we view other people's lives through the lens of social media, it's easy to feel inadequate in comparison to the happy smiles, extravagant vacations, joyous occasions, clever projects, and glorious accomplishments that most people share on these platforms, Don't let other people's carefully curated experiences fool you into thinking that you are less capable or successful than them. We're all just doing the best that we can, including you. Give yourself some grace. 

The Afghanistan book often felt like a burden to me while it was a work in progress, but once it was complete, I felt great fondness for the project. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity and experience. I'm proud of our hard work and the product we produced. I'm excited to see our book in print. What's more, I like how it has changed me for the better. It has helped me to grow and to develop my skills and abilities. 

Isn't that the way it is with challenges? They seem really difficult when you are experiencing them, but once you've overcome them, they don't seem like such a big deal. In fact, they often feel like a blessing. I think that's because they are. Life is about growing, and changing, and improving, and the surest way to do those things is to push yourself to do things that feel a little (or a lot) beyond your current abilities - whether that means writing a book or tackling the mountain of mementos in the attic. In the end, I think you'll find that you are glad you made the effort. 

In some ways, it's been a challenging summer, and I have certainly struggled to keep up with my blog. I keep telling myself that there is a time and a season for everything, and sometimes we have to adjust our expectations and desires in order to work through the unexpected challenges and opportunities that have emerged in our lives. 

Often it seems that things come into our lives in waves. When we are faced with learning experiences, it sometimes seems like related ideas keep popping up everywhere as if the universe is trying to teach us something and repetition is the only way to get our attention. 

The themes that are resonating with me right now have to do with gaining a new perspective or seeing things in a new light. A related theme is that of letting go of constraining expectations and embracing simpler approaches to everyday problems. 

This is a lengthy introduction to the topic of this post which is simply things that are making me glad. As I engage in personal reflection, I find myself feeling an abundance of gratitude for the opportunities and resources and blessings I enjoy, despite the losses, so I thought I'd share what's tickling my fancy, making me think, motivating me, and bringing me joy. It's a bit of a copout as far as topics go but also surprisingly cathartic. I hope you find something that peaks your interest and enriches your life. 

​What is Noom? Simply stated, it's a weight loss program, but it's really so much more than that. Most of us understand the basics of nutrition and what it means to eat a healthy diet, but in my experience knowing and doing are not the same thing.  Noom helps people create and maintain healthy lifestyle choices, particularly (but not exclusively) dietary choices, in  a number of ways:

• Daily lessons on a variety of topics that help learners understand the psychiatry as well as the phisiology behind eating. It explores everything from hunger related hormones to emotional and environmental triggers to psych tips and tricks for overcoming thought distortions and so much more.
• Participation in a group forum where participants share experiences and offer encouragement.
• Access to group and individual coaches.
• An easy-to-use app that allows you to track your weight and log meals, water intake, exercise, and more. This is also where you access your lessons and group content. 
• Tons of recipes. 
• An easy to follow "stop light" approach to eating in which no food is off limits. Instead, foods are categorized according to their caloric density. While there is no limit to the amount of green foods (i.e. foods with a low caloric density) one can consume, yellow foods should be eaten in moderation, and red foods (foods with a high caloric density) should be considered a treat. 

I'll be honest, I haven't lost a ton of weight on Noom, at least not yet. I am, however, on a consistent downward trend, and more importantly, my overall health is improving. I sleep better. I have significantly less joint pain. I'm excited about preparing and eating healthy foods, and the changes I'm making feel sustainable which I believe is the single biggest indicator of long-term success. 

I'm referring here to Wendy Watson Nelson's book Change Your Questions Change Your Life. There is another book by the same title written by another author which I have not read, and therefore cannot recommend. Wendy Watson Nelson has thirty years of experience as a marriage and family therapist. Her deep personal spirituality combined with her professional insights give her a unique approach to getting the answers we seek in life. This is a super easy read filled with experiments for the reader to try. I'm actually working on reading it for the second time and getting even more out of it this time around.  The book is aptly named. The author demonstrates the power of questions and how reframing questions can open the door to new insights, greater self-worth, improved relationships, and the ability to overcome personal stumbling blocks to progress. 

My husband was introduced to The Great Courses in 2005, and we have been loyal customers ever since. A product of The Teaching Company, The Great Courses include an ever-increasing collection of college-level lecture series on an expanding array of topics. Categories include:

• Economics & Finance (29)
• History (239)
• Mathematics (48) 
• Professional & Personal Growth (121)
• Travel (30)
• Food & Wine (22)
• Hobby & Leisure (80)
• Music & Fine Arts (69)
• Programs for Young Learners (37)
• Health, Fitness & Nutrition (53)
• Literature & Language (116)
• Philosophy & Religion (168)
• Science (200)

The numbers inside parenthesis indicate the number of courses currently available on each topic. As you can see, the selection is vast. The Teaching Company hires award-winning professors from top-notch universities and other experts in their fields to provide the instruction for their lectures. Courses can be anywhere from 12-96 lectures in length.  Most lectures are 30 minutes. Lectures are available in DVD format or for immediate download. Prices seem steep at first sight until you realize that they have dozens of courses on sale for 75-80% off all the time. If you find a course you're interested in, but you don't want to pay full price, just wait. It will be on sale soon.​

If you're going to listen to lectures (or podcasts) while you work, I recommend getting a good speaker for your phone. I use the OontZ Angle 3 Bluetooth Speaker, and I love it. In fact, I had to buy one for my husband because mine kept disappearing! Because I listen while I'm cooking and doing other household tasks, I also like having a cell phone stand to cradle my phone. It makes it easier to see and interact with what's on the screen and gets my phone up off the counter where it may encounter moisture and other hazards. As a bonus, it's also handy if you use your phone for Zoom calls. 

I love to cook, except when I don't. I seem to go through phases. At times I am highly motivated to plan and follow a menu. Then at other times  nothing sounds good, and I don't feel like putting in the effort to cook. Can anyone relate?

I have developed a cheat that allows me to throw together soups, stews, casseroles, and other seemingly elaborate meals with relative ease. In place of raw chicken, which has to be diced and cooked, I use frozen grilled boneless chicken breast strips or dices. They're precooked, so all you have to do is thaw them. I use them to whip up some of our favorites in a manner of minutes. This includes chicken fajitas, chicken salad, casseroles, and soupls like the delicious Chicken Pot Pie Soup recipe that I shared in my last Favorite Things blog post. 

It will come as no surprise to anyone that the last year and a half have been turbulent, both at home and abroad. When I listen to or read the news I sometimes feel as though there is little hope for the future. Then I venture out into my little community and encounter countless good people striving to show kindness to those around them and generally do the right thing, and I feel better. 

My husband and I are working on a book about the war in Afghanistan. As a result, we have met some amazing people who have broadened our perspective and given us an appreciation for what it means to serve and to sacrifice. As I write this post, my thoughts are on them and their families. Some, I know, have made it to safety outside that wartorn country. Others are desperate to get word of their families whose lives are in very real danger. 

While there is little, if anything, that I personally can do to help my newfound friends on the other side of the world, there is something I can do to make the world a better place. I think Thierry K. Mutombo said it best in a recent address: "When we choose to follow Christ, we choose to be changed."  If I can truly strive to emulate the most perfect example of kindness, love, generosity, and grace the world has ever known, I can make a difference within my small sphere of influence. I can make someone else's day better, ease someone else's burden, or just spread a little sunshine in a world that so often seems dark and intimidating. 

On more than one occasion, I have made the mistake of accepting jobs with clients who have been referred to me by family members. In one case, a woman hired me to work with her adult daughter, a single mother of four. On another occasion, a son and daughter-in-law (who lived out of state) asked me to work with his parents who were in their nineties.

In both situations, there was a clear need for the assistance of a professional organizer, and I completed several sessions with good result, but the results were short-lived. I would return each week to find that little effort had been made in my absence to maintain what had been accomplished on my previous visit. Both cases ended with me contacting the referring family member to tell them I no longer felt comfortable taking their money. Why? Because both the adult daughter and the aging parents lacked the most essential requirement for successful, long-term decluttering: desire.

While it was clear to me, and to their loved ones, that they could assuredly benefit from a decrease in clutter combined with an increase in organization, neither felt particularly compelled to embrace the process. In all honesty, I suspect that both felt a tad resentful at having their space invaded by a stranger in order to quell the unwelcome judgments of well-meaning (but meddlesmone) family members. 

I could have helped the elderly couple and the single mom. I could have made their lives easier and their spaces more comfortable. I could have saved them time, and money, and frustration. None of that mattered, though, because they didn't really want my help. They liked their spaces the way they were. They liked their stuff and didn't feel a need to part with anything. Because they had no desire to declutter, any efforts by outsiders to help them do so were destined for eventual, if not immediate, failure. 

One person's clutter is another person's comfort. This being the case, it is impossible, not to mention inconsiderate, to inflict decluttering on another adult person.  It won't work. The minute they are left to manage their space as they like, the clutter will return. They will, in all likelihood, seek it out in order to restore a sense of normalcy and ownership to their space. 

This reluctance (or downright refusal) on the part of family members to clear away the clutter can be frustrating to say the least, but think of it from their perspective. Would you want someone telling you what you should do with your things? Do you not consider yourself the authority on your stuff? 

What appears to be clutter to some seems entirely appropriate, and even desireable, to others. This point is reinforced to me a couple of times a year when we visit my father-in-law whose relationship with stuff is completely foreign to me. ​

My father-in-law loves stuff. Personally, I take Marie Kondo at her word. If an item - in and of itself - does not bring me joy, I find it a new home. For my father-in-law, simply obtaining things brings him joy, and having them fills him with comfort. The nature or quality of a particular thing has no real bearing on its ability to bring him satisfaction. It isn't the thing itself but the possesion of it that seems to bring him pleasure. He just loves aquiring and having things. Let me share an example (or two) to illustrate my point.

On our most recent visit he couldn't wait to show me his latest acqisition. 
"Check out this desk I found on the side of the road. It was free." (It looked free.) 

It was obvious from the enthusiastic anticipation on his face that he was waiting for me to congratulate him on the procurement of this amazing find, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Instead I said, "Do you need another desk?" knowing full well that he does not. He has seven desks. I counted them. 

"No," he smiled, unperturbed by the failed attempt at affirmation. "But it was free." 

This exchange is only too common between us. Ask me about the second sewing machine. - he does not know how to sew - or the bicycle he paid to have resurrected after stumbling across it at the dump (yes, the dump). He is 77 years old, and one has to traverse no less than a minimum of four miles of gravel roads in any given direction in order to get to his house.  Members of our family (my husband and I included) have had flat tires on three occasions driving on those gravel roads. What on earth does he want with a junkyard bicycle?

​Dad likes to think that he will ride the bicycle or learn to use the sewing machine (both of which he has had without using for over a year now), but in all honesty, he isn't the least bit concerned about whether or not they actually earn their keep. He just likes having them.​

As a person who loves order, I used to cringe a little encountering all the loose screws and empty plastic containers and other odds and ends my husband's father insists on keeping. I used to grumble to myself every time I opened the ridiculously heavy drawer in his kitchen where he keeps his 17 frying pans (two or three of which he actually uses).  It used to bother me terribly thinking about the fact that some day my husband and his brother are going to have to deal with all that stuff. 

How am I able to make those statements in the past tense? Because I've come to a realization. His stuff is his stuff. It's his life, and his house. He isn't a hoarder. His place, while not as orderly and neat as my own, is perfectly presentable. Most importantly, though, it brings him joy. It makes him happy to have his things about him, no matter how unnecessary and lacking in value some of those things may seem to others. 

While the professional in me wishes that all the world would embrace the wisdom of living a clutter-free life, the daughter in me has come to realize that it's just stuff, and for now it has a happy home with someone who values it.

Possessions are highly personal in nature. There is no sense in trying to define the worth of someone else's belongings for them. For this reason, those of us who are inclined toward order must sometimes learn to be patient and accepting of those who happily inhabit the other end of the clutter spectrum. ​

On June 24th my mother passed away. It wasn't sudden or surprising. Her health had been steadily failing for some time. But, as I'm discovering, the likelihood of a person's passing doesn't make it any less sad or surreal when it occurs. 

As my sister and I have experienced (and continue to experience) the process of planning a funeral and closing out a loved one's estate, we have had ample opportunity to reflect on a number of things from the spiritual to the intellectual to the temporal. Not surprisingly, one of the things that dominated our thoughts in the days following our mother's passing was how best to remember and celebrater her life. This process is unfortunately, but necessarily, dominated by a vast number of decisions regarding the permanent resting place of a person's remains. 

I think it's natural in such circumstances to think about what you would do, or what you would want done, in a similar situation. I also think that making some decisions in advance, and even taking certain actions, regarding your own funeral and burial, is a gift you can give your loved ones that will bless them tremendously during a very difficult time of their lives. 

While there are a number of things you can do to make your passing a little less stressful for your loved ones, in this post I'm going to focus solely on the benefits of planning your own funeral. 

Do you sometimes feel a deep sense of weariness at the end of a long day? If so, you are not alone. Each and every one of us is bombarded on a daily basis by a never-ending stream of decisions about everything from the mundane to the life-changing. The stress that results from this endless mental strain is known as decision fatigue. The more stressed we are, the more difficult it is to make coherent decisions. 

Unfortunately, the death of a loved ones is fraught with decisions - important decisions: decisions about how and where to bury them, decisions about the dispersal of their personal belongings, decisions about the management of their finances and property, and more. At a time when people understandably feel least capable of or inclined to make important decisions, important decisions are demanded of them. 

Making some decisions in advance regarding your own funeral and burial can relieve much of this difficult burden for your loved ones. Here are some of the benefits of planning your own funeral. 

Financial 
Funerals are expensive and fraught with hidden costs. Not all of these costs can be covered in advance, but the big ones like a casket, burial plot, and headstone can be decided upon and paid for anytime. Covering as much of the cost as possible in advance will not only save your family a great deal of money; it will also provide them peace of mind. 

If you are not inclined to purchase your own casket, burial plot, and headstone, consider planning financially for these necessities so that your family will not have to bear the expense. This can be done in a couple of different ways. You can purchase a life insurance policy specifically designed for this purpose, but keep in mind that it takes weeks or months to collect on a life insurance policy and funeral costs are immediate. Another option is to set aside a fund to pay for your funeral expenses. Just be certain that your family knows where the money is located and how to access it in the event of your death. Whichever option you choose, I recommend having a minimum of $15,000 set aside (twice that would be preferrable). 

In addition to funeral costs, you family's finances may further be strained by costs associated with travel and lost wages incurred through taking time off to manage your affairs. For this reason, you may want to consider saving beyond the bare bones cost of a funeral in order to more completely ease your family's financial burdens. 

Mental 
​As mentioned previously, decision fatigue is real, and having to make important decisions while suffering the mental and emotional strain associated with a loved one's death is extremely taxing. In dealing with our mother's passing, my sister and I both found ourselves feeling tremendously tired, and this exhaustion was as much mental as it was physical. 

Emotional 
The emotions surrounding the death of a loved one are complex and intense in their own right. It's possible to inadvertently add to your loved ones' emotional burden by forcing them to search for the information they need to close out your estate. Doing so will likely lead to frustration and possibly even annoyance. The presence of such emotions at the time of a loved one's passing can further lead to feelings of guilt. By not only planning aspects of your burial, but also sharing that information with your family, you can greatly relieve the stress they are bound to feel. 

Social/familial 
​If decisions are made in advance by you, then your family isn't left to wonder what you would want and potentially argue over what's best to be done. ​

It is assuredly helpful to loved ones to have some of the details of a person's funeral planned and paid for in advance, but not necessarily all. Dictating to your loved ones how you wish to be remembered (or not as the case may be) may prevent them from mourning in the manner that will be most healing to them. 

My grandmother lived across the street from us growing up. She was an integral part of my young life until she passed away during my sophomore year of high school. She was always there, a constant. Until she wasn't.

We did not have a funeral for her, not because we didn't want to, but because she asked us not to. There was no celebration of her 82 years of life, no sharing stories with friends and family, no bidding her farewell. One day she was just gone forever, and we just had to get used to the idea, slowly, with nothing to ease the transition. 

My mother made a similar request, but my sister and I chose not to honor her wish. We understood that funerals are an important step in the process of achieving closure when it comes to the loss of a loved one. They provide an opportunity to remember, to celebrate, and to say goodbye. My sister and I needed that opportunity to reflect and to mourn. We needed to be surrounded by friends and family and hear from dozens of people how impactful our mother's life had been. We needed to witness the reality of her departure first hand so that we could better process it in the coming days and weeks. 

We kept it simple, knowing that what she was really asking us was not to go to a lot of trouble. We said what we needed to say. We heard what we needed to hear. We both believe that had she been present, Mom would have been pleased. 

While purchasing a plot, a casket, and a headstone can save your family a lot of stress and money at the time of your passing, dictating too many specifics regarding your funeral may very well cause them stress. It's important to remember that while your funeral will most definitely be about you, it isn't for you. Allow your loved ones the freedom to celebrate your life and their love for you in the manner that will be most meaningful and healing for them. 

It has been six months since we moved into our new home. In that time, my husband has pointed out to me on three occasions a decluttering version of "I told you so". After discovering a use for something I chose to get rid of, he has essentially said, "This is why you don't get rid of things you might use." 

I adore my husband, but I respectfully disagree. In all three cases, I am content with my choice even though it meant replacing each of the items in question. Lest you think I'm a lunatic, I will endeavor to explain. 

Ten years ago our youngest son did an experiment in bouyancy for his fifth grade science project. It required approximately 40 ping pong balls which we have retained in our possession ever since (until our recent move). We do not own a ping pong table or have access to one.

At one point several years ago I made a vain attempt to repurpose the ping pong balls after seeing an idea on Pinterest. This involved writing tasks/activities on each ball. My son was not nearly as impressed with the idea as I was, and the ping pong balls soon found their way back to the garage. Thus, I felt completely justified in tossing them out when it came time to move.

As luck would have it, mere weeks after discarding the ping pong balls, my husband was put in charge of securing supplies for a church youth activity. They planned to play a series of Minute to Win It games, one of which required...ping pong balls. 

Here's why I do not regret my decision to toss out those ping pong balls:

• I had no earthly way of knowing a use would arise after all these years.
• The balls were covered in phrases which no longer had relevance to me or anyone else.
• Ten years is more than enough time to hold onto an item "just in case". 
• Replacing the ping pong balls only cost a few dollars (for which we were reimbursed).
• We no longer have an unattractive bag of graphiti laden ping pong balls cluttering up our garage. 

A couple of years ago we created a cement patio in our back yard. In preparation for the project, we pulled up eight square red brick pavers which have been sitting in our shop ever since. In preparation for the move, I offered them up on Facebook, and they were quickly claimed by a friend. She had the perfect spot for them. They actually solved a problem she'd been battling in her yard, and she was thrilled to get them. 

Several of the flower beds in our new house are filled with rock. One such bed is a narrow strip between the driveway and the front walk. A couple of weeks ago we decided to space flower pots in the rock to add some color and interest to the area. We decided it would be useful to put down pavers underneath the pots so they would sit flat. Again, my husband pointed out that we were buying something we had only recently given away, but I was completely comfortable defending that decision. Here's why:

• Our friend had an immediate need for the pavers. What's more, she loves them and is grateful to have them.
• I never liked those pavers. 
• I love the new stone pavers which perfectly blend with the surrounding rock. The red brick would not have looked as nice.
• It only cost a few dollars to replace the pavers with a better version that we picked ourselves (as opposed to inheriting them with the house).  
• We no longer have a stack of unwanted pavers cluttering up our shop.

We moved in December, and I honestly wasn't thinking much about spring and planting flowers. I was thinking about downsizing. In my zeal to lighten our load, I gave away six or eight mismatched plastic flower pots in varying sizes. All of them were sun faded and some of them were a little cracked around the rim. 

Now it's May, and I'm busily striving to beautify my new yard and increase my home's curb appeal (see the above entry for details). As we drove to Home Depot to shop for flower pots, my husband jokingly said, "It's too bad we didn't have a bunch of flower pots lying around that we could have used." Haha. I know. I know.

Once again, I was unphased by the fact that we were replacing something we had recently owned and given away, and this is why:

• The old flower pots were plastic, and I wanted better quality pots for this project (so did my husband). 
• The old pots were faded and cracked - not what we needed to increase our curb appeal.
• The old flower pots were in varying sizes and colors and would not have worked for our current project. 
• We no longer have a stack of mismatched flower pots cluttering our garage.

Might is a word I hear often as an organizer. "I can't get rid of that because it might come in handy." Or "You never know when you might need a...." 

Other related words include ought, should, and could. All of these words convey a sense of uncertainty coupled with a vague notion of obligation. Most people, if questioned, would no doubt indicate an unwillingness to let fear serve as a primary motivator for their decisions and behavior. Yet many of us do just that when we succumb to the influence of 'might'. In essence, we let our belongings bully us. We keep things that serve no apparent or meaningful purpose in our lives - things we have no emotional attachment to or conceivable use for - simply because they might be needed. 

Instead of sacrificing precious space for things that may or may not prove useful at some future date, why not make space for the things you have a use for and interest in right now? 

A client recently complained to me that "organizers always say that holding onto things you might need is pointless because you never use them." I admit, I'm guilty as charged. This person went on to express her amazement at how many times she has been saved at the last minute because she held onto something she needed.

This well-meaning individual failed to see the flaw in her reasoning, which is this: there is a difference between an actual need/use and a hypothetical one. In her case, she was actually using the things she had chosen to keep. The problem arises when we aren't sure when or if an item will prove useful. 

If you can visualize a legitimate use for something, by all means, hold onto that item. If, however, you only have an ambiguous notion that it could serve some purpose someday - but no real notion of what that purpose could be - please consider getting rid of the item.

When trying to determine which of your 'mights' are legitimate and which are simply nebulous, I recommend doing a cost comparison. There are many different costs associated with keeping vs. replacing an item. Consider the following:

• Money - How much would it cost to replace the item? Would it be possible to borrow or rent a similar item if the need arose? If the item in question is in a rented storage space, would it cost you less to replace it than you are paying to store it?
• Space - Do you have the space to store the item indefinitely? Or could the space be better utilized for some other purpose? 
• Time - How much time do you spend maintaining, cleaning, and storing the item? How much time would it take you to replace the item?
• Psychological Burden - Clutter has been proven to increase the stress hormone cortisol, and long-term exposure to cortisol has been proven to negatively impact health in a number of ways. If you are keeping an item out of guilt or fear, this further adds to the stress associated with that item. Letting go of unneeded things can have a very positive impact on your psychological well-being. 

When it comes down to it, there are a couple of questions we should ask ourselves when considering whether or not to keep the 'mights' in our lives: 

1. Can I envision a legitimate (meaning likely and worthwhile) use for this item?  
2. If a use for this item arose, would I actually use it, or would I prefer another, similar item (think of my flower pots)? 
3. Do I value my time, space, and psychological well-being more than I value this item?
4. Is it worth giving up the space and living with the clutter in order to potentially save a little money down the road?

There is no wrong answer to these questions. Only you can decide what a particular thing is worth to you, but I encourage you to take the time to think it through. If you decide you value other intangibles over the item, you can feel confident letting it go, even if a use actually does arise in the future.  

I hope that I have demonstrated through my personal experiences that discovering you could have used something you got rid of doesn't have to be devastating. In fact, it can be validating. In each of the cases I shared, I discovered that what I had wasn't really what I wanted. While the items in question could have been used to satisfy my purposes, I would not have been as happy with the results. ​

We've all heard the axiom "A place for everything, and everything in its place." I have often seen this statement attributed to Benjamin Franklin, but in researching the phrase, it seems that there is some question as to its actual origins which might date back as far as 1640. Whoever said it first, one thing is clear: this is a truth that has been understood for centuries, and with good reason. 

The proverb actually emphasizes two principles of organization. The first is that everything should have a designated place where it is stored. The second is that things should be returned to their rightful place when not in use. These truths seem obvious enough, but the fact is that both aspects of this maxim can, and do, present challenges for some (if not most) people. 

Yes. The answer to this question is yes. Which probably leads you to ask another, more direct question: why? 

The simple answer to the second query is clutter. Anything that doesn't have a home is clutter, and clutter is the enemy of us all. Clutter causes confusion, frustration, anxiety, stress, and irritability. It zaps our time, energy, creativity, productivity, and even our money (ever had to buy something you knew you owned but couldn't find?). 

In contrast, a home where everything has its place, and everything resides in its proper place is peaceful, relaxing, inviting, and inspiring. When you walk into such a space, you want to sit down and stay awhile - after admiring all the lovely order. 

When things have a designated space, they aren't just easier to find, they're easier to appreciate. Cluttered shelves, countertops, and surfaces swallow up everything that resides on them. It's as if they fall into a visual hole. Their identity is lost in the jumble. 

The first step to finding a place for everything in your home begins with determining which things deserve a place in your home. That means decluttering, or purging your belongings. 

Once you've paired down your belongings to those things that serve a purpose and/or speak to your heart, it's time to determine where they should reside. Try implementing these suggestions for finding a home for all the things within your home. 

Consider Logical Locations
​I'm a big fan of creating a whole house storage plan. This involves thinking through the storage spaces in your home and determining what should go where. During our recent move (and numerous previous moves), I applied this concept to every space in our home, not just the storage spaces. For instance, I mapped out my kitchen and decided (before unpacking) what items should go where based on ease of use. 

To determine the best location for things, there are some basic guidelines you can apply. 

• Store things where you use them. Sounds logical enough, but I have come across more than one foot bath in a garage, or trailer hitch in a linen closet. Sometimes we put things where we think we have space for them rather than where they truly belong. 
• Save the most accessible spaces for the most frequently used items. You want the things you use the most to be the easiest to retrieve and put away. 

Consider Space Limitations
Almost everyone wishes they had more storage space. In many cases, you can increase your space's storage capacity by adding a shelf here or a storage solution there. For example: ​

Consider Storage Options
When finding a place for things, the method of storage can be as important as the location. Different types of items require different types of containers. What's suitable for certain things, won't work well for others. Consider the following as you plan out where to place things:

• Practicality - easy to access, easy to open and close, easy to move
• Affordability - works within your budget
• Availability - can easily be obtained if additional pieces are needed
• Durability - will stand up to repeated use
• Functionality - works as intended, meets specific needs
• Appropriateness - sturdy containers for kid's spaces, decorative/coordinating containers for display, waterproof containers for attics and basements, etc. 

Of course not all things are intended to be tucked away in a storage bin out of sight. Some things are meant to be viewed and enjoyed. Too much can be said about how to store and display specific types of items to go into the topic in depth here. Suffice it to say that those things you love to look at should inhabit a place of honor in your home. Display them where you can see them and in a way that does them justice. 

The second part of our famous adage is "everything in its place". In other words, it is only helpful to have a place for everything if things are placed where they belong when not in use. This is a different skill set and involves forming certain habits such as:

• hanging up coats and placing shoes and bags where they belong when entering the home
• putting dirty clothes in the hamper upon removing them and putting clean clothes in the closet or dresser once washed
• putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher (or washing them as soon as they are used)
• making the bed
• putting toys, games, books, movies, projects, supplies, and tools away after each use
• resetting a room upon leaving the space - i.e. putting everything back where it belongs

To some these behaviors may seem tedious and time-consuming. In reality,  each of these tasks take mere moments to perform when done as they arise, and the result is well worth the effort. Think how wonderful it feels to walk into a tidy, organized space at the end of a long day versus walking into an unkempt, disorderly space. The former is relaxing, while the latter increases stress and tension. 

When a concept continues to be emphasized centuries after it was introduced, it's a safe bet that concept is worth considering. The notion that everything should have a place and reside in its place when not in use is an old one but a profound one. Applying this ancient wisdom will not only bring order to your space but also peace to your mind and heart. 

My husband writes books, and I edit them. Editing can be a tedious task. It takes time and concentration to make a careful, deliberate review of the material. When I edit my husband's writing, I am looking for typos and grammatical errors (copy editing), but I am also evaluating the effectiveness of his argument and the fluidity of the text (content editing). I'm not just interested in whether his work is written properly; I'm interested in whether it is written well. I want it to be a true and compelling representation of his thoughts and ideas. 

It occurred to me recently that decluttering and downsizing are kind of like editing. In fact, the word edit can mean to expunge or eliminate [the unnecessary]. While this definition is highly appropriate to a discussion about removing clutter, I also like applying the more common (grammatical) definition of edit, which is to revise or correct. When we downsize and declutter, our goal shouldn't be limited to removing the excess, but also to setting things right in our environment (i.e. revising and correcting). 

To me, the ideal space is one that is a true reflection of its owner. Clutter has a way of crowding in and making itself at home, obsuring the purpose and personality of a space in the process. Editing a space allows us to revise its form and function so that it becomes a proper depiction of who we are, what we value, the road we've traveled, and how we like to live. 

When editing your own or someone else's writing, there are certain things you look for and eliminate in order to make the work the best it can be. The same is true for editing your space. 

Mistakes in spelling, sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and other common grammatical errors are the most obvious to search for and often the easiest to spot when editing a piece of writing.

​The same is true for mistakes in stuff. In this category I would include anything you purchased, or received as a gift or hand-me-down, which you do not like, need, or use. They are the things people hang onto out of a sense of guilt or obligation, and they could be almost anything. Examples include:

• personal hygeine or cleaning products you tried but did not like
• food you bought in the hopes of eating healthier that no one in your household will touch
• clothing that looked good in the store but doesn't quite fit in the way you hoped it would
• appliances, tools, and gadgets that don't meet a need or work as expected
• books or movies you bought but didn't enjoy
• gifts you received that don't appeal to your tastes or interests

We all make mistakes in stuff on a regular basis. These mistakes help us to refine our tastes. In this way, they are not a waste, and we can feel good about letting them go and moving on with our lives. 

To be inconsistent is to lack harmony or agreement, to be at variance. ​In wiriting, inconsistencies are those sentences or ideas that don't seem to have a place in the overall work. They may be related, but not closely enough to blend well with the rest of the text. They leave the reader wondering, "What's that got to do with anything?" 

Inconsistencies in our personal possessions are similar in that they do not seem to belong. They seem incongruent. They may be items we have purchased ourselves, or they may be things that we were gifted in one form or another. If you've ever looked at a thing and thought, "This really isn't me," you've encountered an inconsistency in your possessions.

​Chances are, if you don't like a thing it's because it doesn't speak to you; it's not in harmony with your interests or tastes or conceptions. If that is the case, you can feel comfortable parting with whatever it may be, even if it was given to you by someone else. You need feel no obligation to keep things other people think you might (or even should) like or use. Only keep those things that represent a true reflection of you. 

It can be tempting as a writer to restate a concept in a slightly different way for added emphasis, but this practice can grate on readers if it seems as though the author is just repeating himself. While we may not enjoy redundancy as readers, many of us practice it openly with regard to our possessions.

Redundancy occurs anytime we have multiples of an item when one or two would do nicely. It is good to have multiples of some things. Obvious examples are bath towels, underwear, dinner plates, and cutlery, to name just a few. In many cases, though, redundancy (or multiples) only increase the clutter in a home without being truly useful. 

A good way to determine whether or not a particular item is a good candidate for maintaining multiples is to ask yourself:

• Do I use all of these? Or do I have a go to favorite that I use repeatedly? 

​If your answer is no, you don't use them all because, yes, you do have a favorite, you can feel comfortable getting rid of the extras. They are not serving a purpose; they are just taking up space. 

In addition to writing books, my husband teaches history. While grading  papers recently, he came across a student whose work was rife with unreasonably lengthy sentences - 100 words or more. For a reader, such lengthy statements are difficult to digest. One gets lost in the middle and forgets what the point of the sentence was or how it ties to other ideas being expressed. 

The same can be true of possessions, particularly collections. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing. It's tempting when you begin collecting to snatch up any item you encounter that fits your collection. In addition, friends and family often add to collections at gift-giving occasions because it's easy to buy for someone if you know they love ceramic chickens or sports memorabilia or all things Star Wars. 

As with multiples in other forms (as mentioned in the previous section), some specimens are better than others, and the collector will undoubtedly have favorites. Editing a collection can actually add to its charm and visual impact. A few good pieces will stand out and draw people's attention like a true focal point. On the other hand, a dizzying array of related pieces often reads as clutter to the mind. Nothing stands out and demands to be noticed because everything gets lost in the jumble. 

As a military historian, my husband has written on a number of topics (such as the Iraq War, the rise of ISIS, and the War in Afghanistan) which are ongoing in nature. Because these topics are continually evolving, part of the editing process involves making sure that the information included in the book is the most up-t0-date information available at the time of publication. 

When it comes to our homes, we often don't have to look far to find items which are either outdated or incomplete. Outdated items could include electronics, clothing, media, books, reference materials, software, or calendars and planners, to name a few. They may have gone out of style, been surpassed by newer technology, or contain information that is no longer accurate.

As for incomplete items, this would include anything that is missing parts or pieces. For some inexplicable reason, we (including me!) have a tendency to hold onto such things, even though they no longer work properly. Be they puzzles or appliances, they do not deserve a place in your space if they do not work as intended. 

​Both of these types of items are simple to edit as they often have no sentimental or inherent value. Chances are you know exactly where they are located, so finding them and getting rid of them should be easy work. 

As an editor and an organizer, I hope you will apply these suggestions for  editing your space. Doing so serves much the same purpose as editing a written product; it makes the space better, more enjoyable to experience, easier to work with (or within), and nicer to share with others. 

People often talk about leading a more "balanced life". It is my belief that this phrase arose from the notion that you can "do (or have) it all". It's a way of expressing a desire to achieve a sense of stability and calmness amid the chaos of a busy life. 

The problem is a balanced life is not possible, nor is it truly desireable. There are a number of reasons why this is the case.​

Balance, by its very nature, is fleeting. Try standing on one foot. Yes, you can do it. But for how long? With practice, you may be able to improve your performance, but you will need to rest and readjust regularly in order to prevent yourself from toppling over.

In addition, priorities, needs, and circumstances are constantly shifting making it necessary to adapt and change. The idea that there is some magic formula we can apply to achieve the permanent end goal of a balanced life is a fantasy. The moment you feel as though equilibrium is within reach, something will change. A new need will arise, upsetting your stability and forcing you to adapt.

Balance also implies equality of importance. In order for something to be balanced, the different elements have to be equally weighted. When it comes to life, responsibilities, and time management, equality is not the goal. Some things simply require more of our time, energy, focus, and commitment than others, and that's a good thing.

Imagine what life would be like if every aspect of our lives (work, family, social interactions, home maintenance, civic duties, personal development, and more) required and received an equal degree of importance and attention. It would be overwhelming and exhausting, to say the least, and oddly enough, it would leave us feeling unbalanced. 

When we speak of balance, what we really mean is that we want to have enough time, energy, and resources to focus on the things that really matter and not neglect the things we value most. 

We all know that there are an infinite number of hours in the day. What we sometimes forget is that we can only do so much in the hours that we have. Author and motivational speaker Jon Acuff stated it well when he said: 

In other words, it is necessary to prioritize. If a particular thing is important, then other things must, by necessity, receive less attention. For this reason, I think of life, not as a balancing act, but as a juggling act. Juggling implies a more fluid, changing environment. ​

Think of all the aspects of your life as balls. You can only hold one or two  balls at a time, thus requiring you to juggle. If you try to juggle too many things at once, you will drop some of your balls.

At any given moment, some balls are more important than others. They are made of glass; other balls are made of rubber. You cannot drop a glass ball, or it will break. Rubber balls, on the other hand, are safe to drop because they will bounce and remain intact until you are able to retrieve them.

The secret is to determine which balls are glass and which are rubber, knowing that the nature of the ball will change depending on your circumstances and season of life and personal priorities. Some balls even change in nature during the course of a single day. For example, when you are at work, work requires your focus. It is a glass ball. But when you are at home, other things become more important. 

The key to success is to learn to discern which balls you can afford to drop or set down and which ones you have to keep in the air at any given time. ​When we choose in advance what to focus on and what to ignore, we free ourselves from guilt and shame. Instead of feeling bad about some ball you’ve dropped, you can feel empowered by your own mindfulness in deciding not to pick that ball up to for the time being. 

Once you buy into the idea that life is not a balancing act, there is much to learn from the juggling analogy. Consider the following:

• ​Learn to prioritize - Don't waste time and energy juggling unimportant tasks or commitments. Figure out what matters most and place your focus there. As your situation changes, adjust your focus to reflect the natural changes in priorities that result from changing circumstances throughout the day, the week, and so forth. ​
• Keep your eye on the ball - When my daughter is knee deep in a task and her children begin hounding her for attention, she often tells them, "I can only do one thing at a time." This is true for all of us. We like to think that we are expert multitaskers, but the truth is that our brains can only focus on one thing at a time in much the same way a juggler is only able to hold onto one ball at any given moment. 
• Maintain a manageable pace - Life is not a race, and even if it were, it's important to remember, much as the boastful hare discovered, that "the race is not to the swift" (Ecclesiastes 9:11). Rather, "slow and steady wins the race" (idiom). As the Free Dictionary states "Persistent, consistent, and diligent progress, even if it is somewhat slow, will produce better results than rushing to get somewhere or achieve something, as the latter can result in mistakes or may prove unsustainable or unreliable." The faster you juggle, the more likely you are to drop a few balls.
• Take breaks to rest and recuperate - Among our priorities, we need to include self-care, relaxation, meditation, and rest. Juggling can be exhausting. Failing to take time to rejuvenate and make our own well-being a priority can lead, not only to fatigue, but also to frustration, discouragement, and failure. 

If you're tired of trying to achieve the impossible ideal of a balanced life, I encourage you to take a step back and reevaluate your situation. Instead of trying to do it all, make an accessment of what matters most. Give yourself permission to set down some of your balls from time to time. Decide when you can best give time and energy to the things that truly matter in your life. Be mindful in the moment by switching balls out periodically to reflect your priorities. Enjoy focusing your energy, effort, and heart on a few essentials and let the extraneaous balls bounce off into the corner until (and if) you are ready to retrieve them.