How to Be a Responsible, Respectful Declutterer

You've sorted through your stuff. You've identified the items that no longer support the life you want to lead. You've boxed or bagged up the things you're not keeping. Now what? 

Decluttering can be a major undertaking. You should be commended for making it to this step in the process, but you aren't done yet. What you do with the things you have decluttered is as important as the decluttering process. 

There are many options available for those wanting to part with no longer needed items. Choosing the right one for your stuff can make a real difference to someone else, either positively or negatively, so let's take a moment to discuss the possibilities. 

It's always nice to end on a positive note, so I'll start by talking about what not to do with the stuff you wish to be rid of. 

NEVER Gift Your Used Stuff to Anyone
​Without Their Permission. Ever.

It's tempting to give items you no longer need to people you think can use them, but it's also lazy. It is not appropriate to pass your clutter onto others. This is not decluttering. It is avoidance behavior or guilt management. Often the reason people choose this option is to assuage the guilt they feel for getting rid of things - things they paid good money for but never used, things that were gifted to them, things that still have value.  It's OK to get rid of something if you're helping a friend in the process, right? Yes...

...However, as often as not, the person or persons on the receiving end don't actually want what it is you're offering. By giving people things they have no use for, you're adding to their clutter. That is not a considerate thing to do. Instead of feeling guilty for parting with an item, you should feel guilty for forcing something on someone else that neither you or they want. 

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Thanks, But No Thanks

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A  year or so ago an acquaintance of mine came up to me at church and informed me that she had something for me. She had been decluttering her bookcase and thought of me when she came across some books on menopause. Really? This did not feel thoughtful to me. In fact, it felt a little offensive. I'm the first person that comes to mind when you think of menopause? Gee, thanks.

I should have told her that I didn't want her books, but it was easier for me to accept them and then drop them in the donation bin at the thrift store on the way home. That is a natural instinct for me, to take things I don't want (that others can use) to the thrift store, but a lot of people will accept the so-called gift reluctantly and then allow themselves to be unnecessarily burdened by the added clutter.

A Better Way

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If you've got stuff you no longer want or need (and who doesn't?), it's OK to offer it to others. In fact, it's a great thing to do, so long as it's done right. Instead of just handing someone a box or bag of items they may not be able or interested in using, try one of these methods for sharing your unwanted stuff:

• Make Sure Your Stuff is Worth Sharing: First and foremost, look at your stuff with an objective eye. Is it even worth passing on? Is it outdated, worn out, or otherwise unappealing? Even if the honest answer is yes, that doesn't mean there's not a home for it somewhere other than the trash, but it may take a little effort on your part to find the right home.
• Look For Organizations in Need: Instead of "gifting" your tattered old bath towels to an unsuspecting young person who is just starting out, check with the local animal shelter. They often have a need for old towels to line cages or dry animals after bathing, and they couldn't care less about color or condition. Have you got a lot of craft supplies? Contact a local art teacher, preschool teacher, or day care center to see if they would like them. Do you have outdated furniture, household decor, or clothing? Check with a local drama department to see if they are in need of props or costume items. Whatever you do, though, always check first before dropping stuff off with a charity or other organization. If you leave them with things they can't use, you create additional work and possibly additional expense as well. 
• Ask Before You Offer: If there are items for which you have a specific person or family in mind, talk to them before you take them anything. Let them know what it is you're getting rid of and ask if they are interested. If the answer is no, don't be offended. It's nothing against you or your stuff. they just don't have a use for it at this time.
• Find Out Who Needs What: Before you start a decluttering project, let your friends and family know. Ask if there is anything anyone might want or need. For instance, you could say something like, "I'm decluttering children's books (or toys, or DVDs, or board games, or craft supplies, or dishware, or whatever). Who would like first dibs on free stuff?" If someone expresses an interest, invite them to look through your discard pile and take whatever interests them. 
• Utilize Social Media: Facebook and other social media platforms can be excellent resources for the declutterer. Photograph the items you want to get rid of and post the pictures on your Facebook page or on a group page you follow. There are even groups designed specifically for this purpose. Offer your things to the first person who expresses interest. I have seen many items get snatched up quickly using this method. We recently decluttered our attic and came across some sheets of drywall. Since we not longer needed them, I offered them up on Facebook. A friend came by that afternoon and got them. He was literally planning on stopping to buy some on his way home from work that day, so it worked out great for everyone!
• Consider Selling: Sometimes the personal or inherent value of an item makes people reluctant to simply give the item away. If that's the case, consider selling individual items on eBay, Amazon.com, Facebook, or some other online platform. If you have a lot of items to get rid of, a garage sale might also be in order. 

When No One You Know Wants Your Stuff

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Sometimes despite your best efforts, you will be unable to find takers for you unwanted stuff among your acquaintances. When that happens, there are still options available for responsible declutterers. 

• Donate It: Most people are aware that donating to a thrift store is an option, but did you know there are numerous other charities in need of donations? I have created a series of pages on donating specific categories of items to include clothing, sports equipment, books, movies, video games, electronics, and more. You can read all about the many options here. 
• Recycle It: The wide variety of items that can be recycled or repurposed is truly amazing. This includes many items you might not expect such as sneakers or mattresses or BBQ grills. Visit my Recycling Resources page to learn more. 

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Tips for Sharing Your Stuff

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When giving used items to others, be it a friend, a family member, or a stranger, please be considerate and make sure the items you're sharing are clean and in good working condition. If an item is missing a part or is otherwise deficient, let the receiver know. If it came with an instruction manual or is still under warranty, provide the receiver with that information.

If you're donating to a thrift store, keep in mind that there are certain items they cannot accept. Below are links to guidelines for three nation wide thrift store chains. If you're giving to a locally owned thrift store, check with them for specifics before donating, particularly with regard to baby items and electronics. 

• Guidelines for Donating to Goodwill (Note: This page is specific to Southeastern Wisconsin and the Chicago Metropolitan area, but the guidelines will be similar at any Goodwill location)
• Guidelines for Donating to the Salvation Army
• Guidelines to Donating to Habitat for Humanity Restores

As you can see, there are many ways to responsibly and respectfully get rid of unwanted items. Finding the right way to discard your stuff is an important part of the decluttering process.