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What Your Clutter Could Be Saying About You

5/28/2020

4 Comments

 
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I absolutely love this quote (shown above) by Thomas Jefferson. For me it is a foundational axiom of household organization. If applied mindfully and intentionally, a person can use this maxim to create the kind of space that speaks to the soul, a space where one can not only feel at home, but also at peace. 
The problem is, most of us do not approach the establishment, organization, and maintenance of our homes with this adage in mind. Instead of carefully curating a space that represents who we are and what matters most to us, we let the uninspiring, trivial, and outdated inundate our space and overshadow the things that truly bring us joy. I know I have been guilty of this at times. Chances are, you have been as well. 

If your home, or portions thereof, have succumbed to the subtle, yet assertive influence of clutter, it may be sending a subliminal message, both to you and to others who enter, that is inconsistent with who you are or who you are striving to become. 

To begin with, let's talk about what your clutter might be saying about you, your life, and your experiences.

What Message Are You Sending?

An excessive accumulation of clutter can send a variety of messages to observers. The type of message depends, in part, on the type of clutter. Here are a few of the most common subliminal interpretations that arise when people enter a cluttered space. 
  • You Are Indecisive: Do you have piles of mail and other forms of paper stacked on every flat surface in your home? Are there boxes or bags of stuff piled in corners or creeping onto the furniture? If so, you may be sending the message that you are unable to make decisions - specifically about what to keep, what to discard, and where to put things. 
  • You Are Overly Sentimental: If everything is treated like a keepsake, then nothing has any real value. If your home is cluttered with mementos of the past, it may seem to others as though you are trapped there, unable to live in the present. Keepsakes are important, but they should be carefully edited to represent those experiences and relationships that are most meaningful to and representative of you. 
  • You Are a Procrastinator: When people come over do you find yourself saying things like, "Oh, I've got to deal with that?" or "I'm in the process of..." in reference to the piles of clutter in your home? If so, you're probably sending a message that you are a procrastinator. 
  • You Are Caught Up On the What Ifs: Do you hang onto things because they might be useful? Are you convinced that you can't get rid of something you haven't used in ages because you might need it someday? Caches of empty jars, hardware scraps, outdated appliances, and other odds and ends are an obvious indication that a person is more concerned about what ifs than what is. 
  • You Are Overburdened: Is your counter top covered with things that need your attention? Is your sink full of dirty dishes? Is the laundry starting to take over valuable real estate within your home? Are there books and toys and daily items strewn about your living space? If so, it may be an indication that you are overburdened. You've got so much on your plate that you can't find the time or energy to maintain basic order in your home. 
  • You Are Clutter Blind: Clutter blindness is an inability to see clutter or to recognize it for what it is. If clutter has become such a natural part of the fabric of your life that it no longer registers as clutter to you, you may have developed clutter blindness. The problem with clutter blindness is you can't fix a problem you can't see... 
  • You've Been Through a Challenging Time: Life has a way of throwing us curve balls. The loss of a loved one, a move to a new location, a serious illness or injury, and other life changing events can have a significant impact on our ability to manage the clutter in our lives. If you are struggling to make it from one day to the next, then you have more important things on your mind than your clutter. 

How to Curate a Space That Reflects Who You Are

As I consider the notion of curating spaces that befittingly represent "the museum of our soul and the archive of our experiences" a quote from Dr. Seuss's book Oh, The Places You'll Go! comes to mind:
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. ​
In other words, it doesn't matter where you are now with regard to the state of your space. As the architect and administrator of that space, you are in control. You have the power to make meaningful changes that faithfully reflect your personality, passions, and preferences. Here are a few things you can do to begin the process of curating a space that speaks of and to you: 
  • Acknowledge Your Clutter: You can't deal with a problem if you haven't identified it as a problem. Take a deliberate, diagnostic look at your space. Where are the trouble spots? What do you need to get rid of? How would you like your home to look? What steps do you need to take to achieve your vision? 
  • Decide What Matters Most to You: The first step in this process is to determine what aspects of yourself you want to be reflected in your space. What do you want it to say about you? Once you have thought through these questions, you can use the answers to guide you in the decluttering process. I call this The Power of Positive Purging. The emphasis isn't on what you're getting rid of but rather on what you choose to keep. 
  • Act Now: Contrary to popular belief, motivation is the by-product of action, not the precursor. When we act, we get results, and those results motivate us to continue acting. People always tell me that they don't know where to start. The truth is it doesn't matter where you start. It only matters that you do. 
  • Find Appropriate Ways to Preserve Your Memories: Much can be said on this subject. The important thing is to focus on displaying those things that are most meaningful to you and find other ways to document and preserve the rest.  
  • Streamline Your Schedule: If your life is so busy that you can't adequately maintain your space, it's time to reevaluate your priorities and streamline your responsibilities. Make time for yourself and the things that matter most to you. This means making time to create a space where you can set your stress aside and feel at peace. 
  • Give Yourself Some Grace: If you are experiencing (or have recently experienced) a life changing event, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to get back on your feet. But do get back on your feet. When we fall off the wagon, we have a tendency to sit in the dust and watch the wagon disappear in the distance. Instead, we need to catch up with the wagon and hop back on (figuratively speaking). Do it at your own pace, but do it. Exercising mindful control over your space is a great way to regain your stamina and perspective. Use this potentially unwelcome experience as an opportunity to make some welcome changes. 

Show Your Stuff

A home is like a blank canvas. It will take on a different look for each new occupant. I observed this phenomenon as a military spouse living in on post housing. The houses were typically similar, if not identical, in structure and layout, but the look of each home was unique to its occupants. Whether you own or rent your home, you have the power to create a space that is reflective of you and your family, and if your space is saying things about you that you do not approve of, you have the power to make positive changes in your environment.  
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4 Comments

How to Be a Responsible, Respectful Declutterer

5/21/2020

5 Comments

 
You've sorted through your stuff. You've identified the items that no longer support the life you want to lead. You've boxed or bagged up the things you're not keeping. Now what? 

Decluttering can be a major undertaking. You should be commended for making it to this step in the process, but you aren't done yet. What you do with the things you have decluttered is as important as the decluttering process. 

There are many options available for those wanting to part with no longer needed items. Choosing the right one for your stuff can make a real difference to someone else, either positively or negatively, so let's take a moment to discuss the possibilities. 

It's always nice to end on a positive note, so I'll start by talking about what not to do with the stuff you wish to be rid of. 

NEVER Gift Your Used Stuff to Anyone
​Without Their Permission. Ever.

It's tempting to give items you no longer need to people you think can use them, but it's also lazy. It is not appropriate to pass your clutter onto others. This is not decluttering. It is avoidance behavior or guilt management. Often the reason people choose this option is to assuage the guilt they feel for getting rid of things - things they paid good money for but never used, things that were gifted to them, things that still have value.  It's OK to get rid of something if you're helping a friend in the process, right? Yes...

...However, as often as not, the person or persons on the receiving end don't actually want what it is you're offering. By giving people things they have no use for, you're adding to their clutter. That is not a considerate thing to do. Instead of feeling guilty for parting with an item, you should feel guilty for forcing something on someone else that neither you or they want. 

Thanks, But No Thanks


A  year or so ago an acquaintance of mine came up to me at church and informed me that she had something for me. She had been decluttering her bookcase and thought of me when she came across some books on menopause. Really? This did not feel thoughtful to me. In fact, it felt a little offensive. I'm the first person that comes to mind when you think of menopause? Gee, thanks.

I should have told her that I didn't want her books, but it was easier for me to accept them and then drop them in the donation bin at the thrift store on the way home. That is a natural instinct for me, to take things I don't want (that others can use) to the thrift store, but a lot of people will accept the so-called gift reluctantly and then allow themselves to be unnecessarily burdened by the added clutter.

A Better Way


If you've got stuff you no longer want or need (and who doesn't?), it's OK to offer it to others. In fact, it's a great thing to do, so long as it's done right. Instead of just handing someone a box or bag of items they may not be able or interested in using, try one of these methods for sharing your unwanted stuff:
  • Make Sure Your Stuff is Worth Sharing: First and foremost, look at your stuff with an objective eye. Is it even worth passing on? Is it outdated, worn out, or otherwise unappealing? Even if the honest answer is yes, that doesn't mean there's not a home for it somewhere other than the trash, but it may take a little effort on your part to find the right home.
  • Look For Organizations in Need: Instead of "gifting" your tattered old bath towels to an unsuspecting young person who is just starting out, check with the local animal shelter. They often have a need for old towels to line cages or dry animals after bathing, and they couldn't care less about color or condition. Have you got a lot of craft supplies? Contact a local art teacher, preschool teacher, or day care center to see if they would like them. Do you have outdated furniture, household decor, or clothing? Check with a local drama department to see if they are in need of props or costume items. Whatever you do, though, always check first before dropping stuff off with a charity or other organization. If you leave them with things they can't use, you create additional work and possibly additional expense as well. 
  • Ask Before You Offer: If there are items for which you have a specific person or family in mind, talk to them before you take them anything. Let them know what it is you're getting rid of and ask if they are interested. If the answer is no, don't be offended. It's nothing against you or your stuff. they just don't have a use for it at this time.
  • Find Out Who Needs What: Before you start a decluttering project, let your friends and family know. Ask if there is anything anyone might want or need. For instance, you could say something like, "I'm decluttering children's books (or toys, or DVDs, or board games, or craft supplies, or dishware, or whatever). Who would like first dibs on free stuff?" If someone expresses an interest, invite them to look through your discard pile and take whatever interests them. 
  • Utilize Social Media: Facebook and other social media platforms can be excellent resources for the declutterer. Photograph the items you want to get rid of and post the pictures on your Facebook page or on a group page you follow. There are even groups designed specifically for this purpose. Offer your things to the first person who expresses interest. I have seen many items get snatched up quickly using this method. We recently decluttered our attic and came across some sheets of drywall. Since we not longer needed them, I offered them up on Facebook. A friend came by that afternoon and got them. He was literally planning on stopping to buy some on his way home from work that day, so it worked out great for everyone!
  • Consider Selling: Sometimes the personal or inherent value of an item makes people reluctant to simply give the item away. If that's the case, consider selling individual items on eBay, Amazon.com, Facebook, or some other online platform. If you have a lot of items to get rid of, a garage sale might also be in order. 
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When No One You Know Wants Your Stuff


Sometimes despite your best efforts, you will be unable to find takers for you unwanted stuff among your acquaintances. When that happens, there are still options available for responsible declutterers. 
  • Donate It: Most people are aware that donating to a thrift store is an option, but did you know there are numerous other charities in need of donations? I have created a series of pages on donating specific categories of items to include clothing, sports equipment, books, movies, video games, electronics, and more. You can read all about the many options here. 
  • Recycle It: The wide variety of items that can be recycled or repurposed is truly amazing. This includes many items you might not expect such as sneakers or mattresses or BBQ grills. Visit my Recycling Resources page to learn more. 

Tips for Sharing Your Stuff


When giving used items to others, be it a friend, a family member, or a stranger, please be considerate and make sure the items you're sharing are clean and in good working condition. If an item is missing a part or is otherwise deficient, let the receiver know. If it came with an instruction manual or is still under warranty, provide the receiver with that information.

If you're donating to a thrift store, keep in mind that there are certain items they cannot accept. Below are links to guidelines for three nation wide thrift store chains. If you're giving to a locally owned thrift store, check with them for specifics before donating, particularly with regard to baby items and electronics. 
  • Guidelines for Donating to Goodwill (Note: This page is specific to Southeastern Wisconsin and the Chicago Metropolitan area, but the guidelines will be similar at any Goodwill location)
  • Guidelines for Donating to the Salvation Army
  • Guidelines to Donating to Habitat for Humanity Restores
As you can see, there are many ways to responsibly and respectfully get rid of unwanted items. Finding the right way to discard your stuff is an important part of the decluttering process. 
5 Comments

10 Decluttering Mistakes to Avoid

5/11/2020

2 Comments

 
When it comes to decluttering, we often talk about what to do and how to do it, but there is value as well in discussing what not to do with regard to decluttering.  I've identified ten common pitfalls or obstacles to successful decluttering that can sabotage even the most well-intended efforts. Be on the lookout for these attitudes and behaviors when you are decluttering.

Decluttering Mistake #1 -
​Beginning Without the End in Sight

Decluttering is a process.  Before you can determine the process you need to pursue, you need to identify what it is you're hoping to achieve. It all starts with a vision for your space. How do you want it to function? How do you want to live within the space? What do you want to be able to do? The answers to these questions will help you to decide what to get rid of and what to keep. You can read more about this phenomenon in my post The Power of Positive Purging.

Decluttering Mistake #2 -
​Shopping Before You Declutter

The first thing many people do once they've decided to declutter is to run out and shop for tons of organization products. While its important to have good storage options for organizing stuff long term, shopping first defeats the purpose of decluttering. The whole idea is to get rid of stuff you don't want, need, or use.

People who buy a lot of organization products up front often end up stuffing things into boxes and bins without doing much, if any, decluttering. The presence of storage containers gives a false sense of being clutter-free when in reality the clutter has just been contained (temporarily). Before long, it will escape it's confines and re-emerge, perhaps in another form, but it will be back. 

Another reason to declutter before  you shop for organization products is to ensure that you get exactly what you need. It can be tempting to overdo it when it comes to the plethora of organizational baskets, boxes, and bins. There are so many wonderful options available! Buying simply what appeals to you or looks promising, without a real understanding of exactly what  your storage needs are, can lead to empty organization products becoming part of your clutter!  

Declutter Mistake #3 - 
​Having Unrealistic Expectations

Decluttering is an ongoing, whole house process. If you haven't done it in a while, it's going to take some time. Even if your goal is only to declutter one room or area of your home, it's going to take longer than you think. 

​Be prepared to get sucked in by things you might not be expecting - old letters, photographs, paperwork that needs sorting, etc. To truly declutter,  you have to go through everything and make a determination about what stays and what goes.  

Decluttering Mistake #4 - Getting Sidetracked

Any number of things can sidetrack people when they are decluttering. You might uncover something you forgot you had, or something you haven't seen in a long time that brings you joy, or something that's going to take a long time to sort through (like paperwork). In such cases, I recommend setting the item or group of items aside to sort through separately at another time (soon).

You might notice things that belong in other spaces and get sidetracked putting them away. It's a good practice to have a container for out of place items. Stick anything that doesn't belong where it's at in the container and return those items to their rightful homes at the end of your decluttering session. 

Decluttering Mistake #5 - Being Indecisive

To quote author Christina Scalise: "Clutter is the physical manifestation of unmade decisions fueled by procrastination." 

Some organizers will tell you to create a 'maybe' pile if you're having trouble deciding what to part with. I'm going to tell you that this is a bad idea. Maybe piles just turn into their own form of clutter and before long you forget why those particular items are in that particular location. In a fit of organization, you may even put them back where they belong! The whole concept behind decluttering is letting go - letting go of things we don't want, need, or use, the things that weigh us down unnecessarily without providing benefit to our lives. 

Indecision fuels clutter. Be decisive.

Decluttering Mistake #6 - Transferring Clutter

A lot of people think they are decluttering when what they are really doing is transferring their clutter. Decluttering means getting rid of stuff, not just moving it to a new location. The desk may be clear, but if there is a new pile of paperwork and other stuff on another surface or in a closet somewhere, you haven't decluttered. You've just moved the clutter. This is a form of indecision and procrastination, and it is counterproductive.

Decluttering Mistake #7 -
​Decluttering Other People's Stuff

It can be tempting to sort through other people's things, especially if you live with them, but it is not a good idea. Doing so can (and often does) create tension, and even long-term rifts, in relationships. Each person has to deal with their own clutter in their own way. We hope that everyone will choose to do so, but forced decluttering never works. It can actually leave people with an unconscious need to hold onto things (out of a fear that others might try to get rid of them). 

When it comes to decluttering kids stuff, there are some exceptions. For more information on this topic, click here. 

Decluttering Mistake #8 -
​Failing to See the Process Through

Many people start the decluttering process only to abandon it part way through. The reasons are varied. Perhaps they felt overwhelmed by the process. Perhaps they got busy with life and lost sight of what they had set out to do. Whatever the case, if you want to see real, lasting results,  you have to be consistent. That means not only seeing the process through, but continuing to declutter over time to maintain a sort of clutter equilibrium. 

Maintaining Your Clutter Equilibrium

I have a pretty clutter free home, but I have mad at least six trips to the local thrift store to donate items since the new year began. We've even made a couple of trips to the dump. These aren't big trips involving boxes and boxes of stuff. I just have a designated spot for items I want to donate. When I get a bag full, I put it in my car and add it to my to do list. In this way, I'm able to keep clutter from piling up. ​
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Decluttering Mistake #9 - 
Not Getting Rid of the Get Rid of Pile

The work of decluttering is done. Items are set aside for donation...and they sit, and sit, and sit indefinitely in the garage, or the front hallway or the laundry room or even the trunk of the car. Months pass, and still the get rid of items sit waiting to be gotten rid of. This is a common tale. Don't let it be true of you. Your decluttering is not complete until the decluttered items have left your home...permanently (the trunk of the car doesn't count). 

Decluttering Mistake #10 - Not Decluttering!

The absolute biggest mistake you can make with regard to decluttering is not doing it. It can change your life. It can ease your burden and lighten you soul and make your home a place where you feel comfortable and at peace. No matter what, decluttering is worth the time, effort, and energy involved.

Recommended Reading


For more information on the decluttering process, click on the images below. 
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2 Comments

Five Signs You Need to Declutter

5/6/2020

3 Comments

 
Clutter is a reality. To some degree every one of us has to deal with it day in and day out, and we always will. That is the nature of clutter. It accumulates. Keeping it at bay requires diligence and an effective strategy. That said, life happens, and often when we're busy focusing on the stresses of life, that's when clutter creeps in and threatens to overwhelm us. 

Ideally, the best time to deal with clutter is when it presents itself, but that isn't always practical or even possible. There comes a time, however, when it becomes necessary to address the elephant in the room - the clutter that has taken over and is impacting the quality of life of everyone in the home. 

So how do you know when decluttering has ceased to be a 'someday' and become a must?  Here are some warning signs that clutter may be taking control of your life.
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You Can't Find What You're Looking For

If you regularly struggle to find simple things, clutter may be the culprit. It's easy to misplace things on a cluttered surface. Necessities get swallowed up by neglected excesses. If you're feeling frustrated at the time you waste searching for stuff, it's time to schedule some decluttering.

You Spend Money on Things You Already Own

This is a common problem in cluttered homes, and it's directly related to the first problem. You can't find what you're looking for, so you buy another one, knowing that you have one somewhere. You need it, so you buy it, but it's a waste of time and money that is both frustrating and bad for the budget. Or maybe you don't realize you have a particular item because it's lost in the clutter. Whichever the case may be, if clutter is impacting your budget, it's time to schedule some decluttering.

Your Home is Not a Place Where You Can Relax

Studies show that a cluttered environment causes stress. It's difficult to relax when surrounded by clutter because your brain registers the clutter as something that requires your attention. Your home should be a place where you can feel comfortable and peaceful. If you regularly experience a stress response upon entering your home, it's time to schedule some decluttering. 

You Avoid Certain Spaces in Your Home

I've seen this all too often; many people have entire rooms of their home dedicated to clutter, rooms that could be used for sleeping or crafting or relaxing or interacting as a family. The door remains closed on such spaces, and no one enters except to deposit more clutter. If clutter has claimed one or more rooms in your home, it's time to schedule some decluttering. 

You're Embarrassed to Have People Over

This is the situation that saddens me most as an organizer. If your clutter is preventing you from having people in your home, it's time to schedule some decluttering. 

Believe You Can Succeed

If you recognized your own situation in any of the above circumstances, you may be feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard someone say (when speaking of their clutter), "I don't know where to start".

My answer is always the same, "Just start somewhere."

Anywhere will do. I recommend starting in the space that you use the most or that is causing you the most stress because that will have the most meaningful impact on your life. Open a drawer and start sorting, clear off a surface, dig into a pile; it doesn't matter where you begin, only that you do.

You will find that you gain momentum as you work, and with that momentum comes motivation to continue the process. With each item you discard or donate, you will feel a weight being lifted from your heart.

The decluttering process isn't easy. It takes time and effort and energy, but it will be well worth everything you invest. It's an investment in your future and your well-being. Stop letting clutter negatively impact your quality of life. Reclaim your space. You can do it! 

Recommended Reading


To help you get started on your quest to declutter, I recommend the following resources:
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If you struggle with any of the challenges detailed above, please share your experience in the comments section below. 
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  • Resources
    • Books >
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    • Challenges >
      • Get Rid of 100 Things in 100 Days
    • Product Recommendations >
      • Organization Gems Every Girl Needs
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      • Fabulous Farmhouse Storage Solutions
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      • Best Board Games for Beating Boredom
    • Donate Your Stuff >
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    • Tools for Organizing >
      • Furniture >
        • Organize with Dressers
      • Wall Storage >
        • Organize with Pegboards
        • Personalized Pegboards
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